Translator: Wan ED/PR: Solarin
53. The second attempt (2)
After she fled from Sawol Seeum, when she came back to her senses, she found herself standing in the place she stood during the first night at school.
It wasn’t as much as it was that day, but because the night wind was very cold, her body trembled.
‘Cold…’
The instant she had that thought, she abruptly felt a sense of guilt.
‘It was colder and more difficult for Seeum that day…!’
She felt like crying, but she bit her lips and endured.
Because the fierce voices of her parents in her memory, asking what she ever did well, while she cried, struck her anew.
Even though they didn’t call or sent Kwon Lena messages, their words easily haunted her mind.
And these days, if she listened her parents in her head blaming her for a while, she would abruptly have such a thought:
‘Am I abandoned now…?’
At first, after the contact was suddenly cut off and she didn’t hear their curses, she was relieved.
But as the time passed, Kwon Lena became uncomfortable.
Didn’t it mean that her parents abandoned her?
Once such a suspicion formed, the doubts continued.
‘If I didn’t exist, wouldn’t unnie and parents-nim peacefully get along? Would They not get involved in the Fantasy Auction? As parents-nim said, isn’t it all because of me? So They decided to abandon me now?’
Cornered, Kwon Lena felt as if all the abusive words her adoptive parents spit out were the truth.
Kwon Lena knew well there were parents in this world, who abused their children for no reason.
But Kwon Lena’s parents treated Lee Yeoreum comfortably.
On the day Lee Yeoreum’s highschool graduation ceremony, she secretly went out to see what the three were like together, and they didn’t look like an unhappy family.
Recalling that scene, it really seemed like it was all because of her.
‘Wasn’t I truly a bad child if I was even abandoned by the parents who bore me?’
At the thought that she was abandoned by her family, she felt miserable.
That misery continued to the feeling of guilt.
‘Should Uisin have not rescued me that day?’
Thanks to the help of Jo Uisin and Ham Geun-hyeong, she started an Eungwang School life which was lovely and dazzling like a dream.
Because all the class children were kind, even though there were difficult times, they were able to overcome them together.
When she recalled the time when she met Kwon Jane and received a violin as a gift, and then began to receive lessons, she was just happy.
But now Kwon Lena couldn’t endure the sense of guilt about Sawol Seeum.
Because she couldn’t concentrate on studying or on the exam, she ended up failing.
Perhaps because Kwon Jane noticed that Kwon Lena wasn’t in the state where she was able to play, she suspended lessons.
Kwon Lena now didn’t have the heart to be with the class children, to study and even to play the violin.
‘…Am I really glad that I’m alive?’
There were many reasons to want to live.
But right now Kwon Lena thought that even if she lived, she would have no value.
Kwon Lena walked up to the railing to attempt the second time.
When she started walking, suddenly a powerful wind blew and caught Kwon Lena’s ankle.
When she barely got closer to the railing, something flew towards her from the darkness.
That something landed a few steps away from Kwon Lena.
Kwon Lena recognized that something’s identity and weakly opened her mouth.
“Uisin-ah…?”
* * *
Kwon Lena reflexively asked like this and then shut her mouth.
I saw Kwon Lena put strength into her arms that’s hugging the violin case.
“…”
In reality, seeing Kwon Lena standing at the perilous position, I didn’t know what I should say.
After worrying, I opened my mouth:
“Kids are waiting. Let’s go back.”
“… You go first.”
I didn’t speak any longer, but I also didn’t move from my place.
Kwon Lena seemed unwilling to give up on the second attempt.
At the thought of my Playable Character thinking of dying, I was anxious, but tried hard not to show it on my face.
‘Let’s calmly think what move to play. I have to think of a way to save Kwon Lena.’
I could forcibly overpower Kwon Lena her and bring her to the safe place, and I could ask for teacher Ham Geunhyeong-nim’s help.
But that was the last and the worst resort.
After doing that, Kwon Lena may try a third attempt with a method that I wouldn’t be able to figure out.
If I was lucky like the last time, there was a chance of the Power of Fate activating, but I didn’t want to bet Kwon Lena’s life on luck.
‘Should I reveal that Kwon Jane is her biological aunt and that Kwon Lena has a family who values her?’
It was ambiguous to judge, but there was a high chance it was a foul move.
Kwon Lena’s adoptive parents were trash, but her unnie wasn’t.
Kwon Lena wasn’t trying to do a second attempt because she didn’t have family, who cherished her.
On the contrary, knowing the secret of her birth may become a poison.
If she, who is connected by blood and flesh to the famous violinist and a Player, Kwon Jane, couldn’t do anything at the Fantasy Auction, she could be crushed by a bigger sense of guilt.
‘As… ‘that word’ who was there, could I lessen her sense of guilt by making Kwon Lena recognize that she couldn’t do anything there as a spectator?’
As I tried to come up with a move, I ended my thoughts on revealing my identity, but it was actually a suicide move.
It was obvious what Kwon Lena would think if she knew that I, who was the 1st year student from the same highschool, rescued Sawol Seeum.
In the end, I decided to wait.
I have to figure out the decisive reason for Kwon Lena to come here, so I could help her.
‘I have to wait. Let’s listen to Kwon Lena’s words and coolly judge what words would help her.’
I hated that Kwon Lena kept standing in that place.
Even so, I had to endure.
After waiting for some time, Kwon Lena opened her mouth.
“… Uisin-ah, don’t worry about me. I’m not worthy of it.”
Kwon Lena spoke with a subdued voice, as if holding back a sob.
Seeing Kwon Lena say such words with her own mouth, my insides felt like bursting but calmly asked back.
“Why do you think so?”
“… Uisin, you heard what I said on the first day of school, so you know, right? That I was at the Fantasy Auction.”
Kwon Lena spoke as if giving up on herself.
As if she hoped I would lose affection for her and leave her on her own, she kept bringing up stories related to the Fantasy Auction.
“I didn’t go there just once. This year was my third time. I just quietly sat there, watching the Players being sold…! And in the middle of this…”
As if she wasn’t able to say Sawol Seeum’s name, she dropped her head.
“There was also my friend, but I just watched…”
“…”
“But I didn’t receive any punishment, you know? As my parents-nim said, I’m a bad child, so… So now I’ll receive my punishment. I don’t have the confidence to study any longer or to attend school. The violin…”
Kwon Lena stopped talking as if she didn’t have the energy to speak.
Looking at Kwon Lena, who was gasping for breath, I thought about her words one after one.
Fantasy Auction.
Players, who came to this auction.
Kwon Lena’s self-guilt.
Combining the sparse clues in my head and thinking again, I came up with the words to say to Kwon Lena.
‘Let’s inform her of that fact.’
After I strengthened my resolve, I spoke to Kwon Lena.
“You didn’t just watch that day. If you were a bad child as you said, you would just watch that day.”
“…?”
“You tried to save a participant who was there.”
Kwon Lena raised her head, dubiously.
I resolutely denied her words.
“No, I know that, because I was there that day.”
“What you…”
Kwon Lena couldn’t understand my words and looked at me with shaking eyes.
‘If I want to make her believe me, I have to show her a proof.’
I activated the Gwangrim again.
⟨Using Gwangrim ‘Player’s Trajectory’.⟩
The selection target of the Gwangrim was Yeom Junyeol.
After I borrowed the outer appearance of the selected character, my appearance changed.
Seeing me changed into Yeom Junyeol’s likeliness, Kwon Lena’s eyes turned round.
⟨Using target character Gwangrim ‘Hongryong Summoning’.⟩
Paaa!
When I activated Yeom Junyeol’s Gwangrim, Hongryong appeared from the subspace crack.
The dragon coiled in flames looked down at Kwon Lena with worry.
“Red Wall Thief…”
At those words, Hongryong, who was looking at Kwon Lena with worry, tightly closed its eyes and then opened them.
I also strengthened my heart and opened my mouth.
“… Anyways, I was there, so I know.”
“Th-then wouldn’t You know very well that I did nothing?!”
Kwon Lena was flustered as she suddenly used a polite tone.
It seemed that I would aggravate Kwon Lena’s confusion if I kept this appearance any longer, so I lifted the Gwangrim.
When Hongryong disappeared and I returned to Jo Uisin’s appearance again, I could feel Kwon Lena’s relief.
Seeing Kwon Lena somehow relaxed, I continued to speak.
I decided to present the proof that Kwon Lena plucked up her courage that day there.
“That day you tried to send me out. Moreover, according to my words, you threw away the coin and didn’t make the oath of silence.”
That day, just 17 years old Kwon Lena approached me, who she met for the first time and spoke up, even while she was trembling in fear.
— If I was someone of senior Yeom Junyeol-nim’s rank… I wouldn’t come to such a place.
— … It’s quite late, so how about going home? Won’t senior-nim’s parents-nim worry if They think You’re not coming back?
It wasn’t just that, according to my words, Kwon Lena threw away the Oath of Silence’s pure silver coin.
“You don’t have that stigma on your hand.”
If it had been discovered that she tried to send me out before the Fantasy Auction started and she threw away the pure silver coin of Oath of Silence, Kwon Lena would had suffered great retaliation from the Fantasy gang and her adoptive parents.
Even so, she plucked up the courage to act.
She didn’t have the strength to save Sawol Seeum, but that didn’t mean she didn’t do anything that day.
“Among the participants of the Fantasy Auction, you were the only one who seeing me in the appearance of senior Yeom Junyeol-nim advised me to flee and who didn’t have the stigma engraved on your palm.”
In Kwon Lena’s round eyes, tears started to well up.
“It’s not like you didn’t do anything that day.”
Thud-rattle.
The violin case fell out of Kwon Lena’s arms.
Kwon Lena covered her mouth with her free hand and started to cry.
“Uu…. sob….”
As if the violin case wasn’t closed properly from the beginning, I saw the inside content, because it opened by itself.
Inside were things that Kwon Lena cherished.
Pictures taken with a person, who seemed to be Kwon Lena’s adoptive older sister.
Practice violins, bows, and spare strings she received when she joined the String Club.
The group pictures with our class children.
The ribbon, decorated with royal blue sapphires, she wore when standing on stage with Kwon Jane.
And the ribbon Kwon Lena dropped before, still in the envelope I returned it in.
‘She still has that ribbon, huh?’
Most of those precious things were obtained after she entered Eungwang School.
“If you want to reveal that fact to Sawol Seeum, I’ll help. He knows my identity.”
Kwon Lena nodded a few times, while crying.
While waiting for Kwon Lena to stop crying, I picked up the things that fell out of the violin case.
At the time when I moved to the corner where the wind blew away the picture group picture taken on the deck of Son of Heaven.
I finally sensed someone’s presence.
‘… Someone is here.’
I would say I was completely careless, but as they deceived my Player’s senses and approached this close, it wouldn’t be an ordinary person.
There was no reason for an ordinary person to be at the Eungwang School, but if they hid their presence and approached this close, they would’ve been a very outstanding Player.
‘I was alert about the rooftop entrance, but… they climbed the wall?!’
It seemed that on the other side of the rooftop, someone hid their presence and climbed the 20-story building’s wall.
A person, hanging on the railing directly opposite of Kwon Lena was looking this way, dripping with tears.
It was Mok Uram.
*~*~*
[*] ‘Seeum’ name used by Kwon Lena — I didn’t mark it, because I didn’t want to interrupt a dramatic situation with a silly note, but anyone happen to know if there is any consensus on how to romanize or present -이 (i/yi) when added to the name to make it sound cuter? Before when I think Han Yi(?) had Geurin saved in her contact like this, I made it into Geurinyi, but it doesn’t feel quite right… But I also feel bad when I just skip over when kids show that they’re close together…*
* If you’re thinking of proposing -ah, I’m sorry, but I think it would be confusing, because -ah (아/야) is used when calling the name of a listener.
Translator’s note: This chapter was very serious… but sometimes the scene of Mok Uram climbing the wall Spiderman-style would flash in front of my eyes and I would lose it.
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